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- Men are From Mars Women are From Venus
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- Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World
Men are From Mars Women are From Venus
By John Gray. Men and women have very different physical needs. But Dr. John Gray explains how both can make small but important adjustments in their attitudes, schedules, and techniques so that their partners are happy in the bedroom -- and outside of it.
Written with the understanding and unique insight that can come only from Dr. Gray, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom educate men and women on:.
He wants sex. She wants romance. In the bedroom, it is obvious that men and women are different, but we may not realize just how different we are. It is only through understanding and accepting our obvious and less obvious differences that we can achieve true intimacy and great sex. Without a deeper understanding of this fundamental difference, women commonly underestimate the importance of sex for men and many times judge them as superficial for wanting only one thing.
With a deeper understanding of our sexual differences based on our historical development and social conditioning, she can begin to understand why, for many men, sexual arousal is the key for helping them connect with and realize their loving feelings.
For many men, sexual arousal is the key for helping them connect with and realize their loving feelings. Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his needs for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex. Sex allows a man to feel his needs for love, while receiving love helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex. When he wants sex and she is not readily in the mood, he easily misunderstands and feels rejected.
He does not instinctively realize that a woman generally needs to feel loved and romanced before she can feel her hunger for sex.
Just as a woman needs good communication with her partner to feel loved and loving, a man needs sex. Ideally, for sex to be great there must be loving and supportive communication in the relationship. This is the first step. When communication works, all the bedroom skills in this book can be most easily applied. If communication in a relationship is OK, hearing and using the ideas in this book will dramatically increase the passion and quality of sex.
When sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship gets better. Through great sex, the man begins to feel more love, and, as a result, the woman starts getting the love she may have been missing. Automatically, communication and intimacy increase. When sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship automatically gets better. When a couple is experiencing relationship problems, sometimes, instead of focusing on the problems, taking a shortcut and creating great sex immediately reduces the problems and makes them easier to solve.
Sometimes, however, the most effective way to jumpstart a relationship is to first learn the bedroom skills for creating great sex. This softening of her feelings dramatically improves her ability to communicate in a manner that her partner can hear without becoming defensive. This improved communication in turn provides a basis for sex to remain passionate. While many useful books address the mechanics of sex, this book addresses the mechanics of making sure you have sex.
In addition, we will explore the psychological differences between men and women in a way that will help you understand what works best for your partner. Most books focus on what men and women physically need, but few address their unique psychological needs as well. This book leads men and women toward sexual fulfillment both physically and emotionally. Not only are men grateful when women learn this information, but women experience greater happiness in and out of the bedroom.
I receive so many letters from couples after they take my seminars saying that they are now enjoying the best sex they ever had. Sometimes these couples have been married only a few years, but some of them have been married for more than thirty years.
Women today expect more from sex than ever before. It used to be that sex was primarily a way a woman fulfilled her husband. For many of our mothers, sex was something she did for him and not for herself. For many women, a growing interest in sex also reflects their need to find balance within themselves by reconnecting with their feminine side.
Having spent most of the day in a traditionally male job, she too wants a wife to greet her with love when she gets home. She too wants to enjoy the release that sex brings.
Great sex fulfills her as much as it fulfills him. To cope with the stress of the modern workplace, not only does he need her support, but she needs his as well.
Through learning new relationship skills, men and women can solve this problem together. Advanced bedroom skills are required if a man is to provide his partner with the sexual fulfillment that she now requires. The more traditional bedroom skills men and women have used for centuries are outdated. It is not enough for a man to have his way with a woman. She wants more. She wants her orgasm too. He must learn her way as well. Just as women want more, men also want more.
More and more, both men and women would rather get a divorce than stay in a passionless marriage. Neither sex is willing to put up with the old system of a man having discreet affairs to fulfill his sexual passion while a woman sacrifices her need for passion in favor of maintaining the family unit.
AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases make extramarital affairs far more dangerous than they were in the past. A modern man wants his partner to value sex in a way that allows him to stay passionately connected to her and their relationship. To achieve this end, advanced bedroom skills are required for both men and women.
In the first twelve chapters of Mars and Venus in the Bedroom , we will explore how to create great sex in bed, and then, in chapter 13, we will explore the importance of romance outside the bedroom to keep the passion alive. Quite commonly, after being married for several years, one of the partners stops wanting sex. Although the partner feels as if he or she has simply lost interest in sex, the disinterest is really caused because certain conditions for wanting sex are not being met.
Throughout Mars and Venus in the Bedroom , we will explore these different needs in much detail. Many times men and women do not clearly know what their needs are or how to have them met.
Rather than feel frustrated all the time, they just lose interest. Certainly, it is not unusual for men to want sex more than their partners do, but no matter which partner loses interest, passion can be rekindled with advanced bedroom skills. This is a fun book and not too technical.
I purposely made many of the chapters very short so that you can put the book down and enjoy practicing some of these new bedroom skills. If a woman suggests to a man that he read this book, it is important that she not give him the message that he needs it or that she wants to improve their sex life.
It is really fun, or This is really a sexy book. When a man approaches a woman to read this book, he should use the same approach but also be careful not to insist. If she resists, he can read it on his own and begin to use many of the techniques involved. As he succeeds in applying these techniques, she will be much more willing to read the book.
In each case, if your partner resists, gracefully say OK and read the book yourself. Eventually, the man will become interested in what the woman is reading if he sees that she is working on making sex great.
Likewise, the woman will be more interested in sharing the book when the man begins applying new skills. If your partner does not seem interested, just leave the book around the bedroom or put it in the bathroom, and curiosity will motivate him or her without you having to do anything more. Reading this book out loud with your partner can assist you in expressing feelings about sex in an easy manner.
By making a simple sound of enthusiasm or delight as a certain passage is read, you can give your partner a very important message. In a positive way, you can share ideas that you have avoided expressing for fear that they might sound critical or controlling.
Seeing something in print makes it much easier to accept. Another approach is for both partners to read the book alone and then start using it. Eventually, it is helpful to improve communication if they read it out loud together or at least read their favorite parts. Reading about various skills in sex will certainly give both men and women plenty of new approaches to experiment with. This newness can assist couples in experiencing new passion.
The purpose of this book is not just to educate, but also to inspire. Men sometimes tell me that they already know what I am telling them about sex, but it is certainly great to be reminded in such a positive way. Just talking about sex or reading about it in a book can release new passion.
I recommend that, after trying out some of these approaches, a couple continue to talk occasionally about each of their unique preferences. Some of these skills or approaches may be desirable to you but not to your partner. In some cases, over time your partner may change and begin to like certain things and not like other things.
Sex is a precious gift that two people can give to each other when they love each other. It is best to just take in this information and then use whatever you like, as if choosing from a buffet. For sex and passion to grow over time, it is important that we not feel the possibility of being judged or criticized for our wishes and desires.
We should always try to approach sex in a nonjudgmental manner. I offer this book as a reminder of many of the things you probably already know intuitively. I hope you enjoy this book and continue to enjoy its insights for the rest of your days and nights. Great sex is your reward, and you deserve it. This book is for couples who are in a committed, monogamous relationship. If you are not in a committed, monogamous relationship, or if you are not absolutely one-hundred-percent sure that your partner is HIV negative, for your own safety and self-respect, you must practice safe sex.
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Two decades ago, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus revolutionized the way we thought about love and partnership. But as society evolves, relationships do, too. Today, men and women are no longer trapped by rigid societal roles. Now more than ever, we have the freedom to be our authentic selves. Women can access their masculine side, and men can embrace their feminine side.
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus  is a book written by American author and relationship counselor John Gray , after he had earned degrees in meditation and taken a correspondence course in psychology. The book states that most common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the sexes, which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymous metaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets —men from Mars and women from Venus —and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the other. One example is men's complaint that if they offer solutions to problems that women bring up in conversation, the women are not necessarily interested in solving those problems, but mainly want to talk about them. The book asserts each sex can be understood in terms of distinct ways they respond to stress and stressful situations. The book has sold more than 15 million copies   and, according to a CNN report, it was the "highest ranked work of non-fiction" of the s,  spending weeks on the bestseller list.
By John Gray. Men and women have very different physical needs. But Dr. John Gray explains how both can make small but important adjustments in their attitudes, schedules, and techniques so that their partners are happy in the bedroom -- and outside of it. Written with the understanding and unique insight that can come only from Dr. Gray, Mars and Venus in the Bedroom educate men and women on:.
John Gray. Copyright by J. G. I thank John Vestman at Trianon Studios for his expert audio recordings of my semin.
Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World
Whether you are recently separated, divorced, or you have been in the singles scene for longer than you want, this insightful guide will help you navigate the dating maze and find that special person you've been waiting for. By discussing the differences between men and women, Mars and Venus on a Date provides singles with:. Filled with practical guidelines, inventive techniques, and witty insight, Mars and Venus on a Date will help single men and women explore the world of dating, understand how to make good choices, and discover the secret to finding a soul mate.
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